Getting rejected by your crush can be really tough. It can lead to a broken heart and a bruised ego, because you basically have to live with the fact that the person you really like doesn’t like you back. It’s one of the worst feelings ever. But what a lot of people don’t realize is that rejecting someone can be pretty tough too. Even though it seems really easy, the truth is, it’s hard to let people down gently. Especially when those people don’t want to take no for an answer.
I can tell you from experience that rejecting guys can be really frustrating and a bit scary. After all, you can never know how a guy will react when you tell him “no,” and when they insist on an explanation or assume that you’re just trying to play hard to get, letting them down gently becomes a lot more difficult. But here’s the good news: Letting a guy down, whether that be a close friend or a stranger you just met, doesn’t have to be so hard. And you know what? You can also do it successfully without losing your patience and without hurting their feelings.
Check out these 12 ways to let a guy down gently if you’re not interested in him.
1. Be polite.
When someone approaches you and actually has the guts to tell you how they feel, chances are, they’re feeling like a nervous wreck. So don’t take this as an opportunity to tell them off or embarrass them. Put the attitude aside and show that you can be mature about it.
2. Give them a compliment.
Offering a compliment can not only ease the awkwardness but it can also help soften the blow. So say something nice that’ll make them feel better. It’ll show that you’re being kind and considerate.
3. Don’t beat around the bush.
While it’s important to be gentle, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to stretch things out for too long. This will only make them feel even more nervous, so just get to the point and tell them how you really feel.
4. Be honest with them.
Don’t make up elaborate excuses and say things like you already have boyfriend or that you plan on moving to another country. You shouldn’t feel the need to give a detailed explanation in the first place, so just be honest.
5. Do it in person.
Unless you feel like talking in person will cause him to lash out or lose his temper (in that case, it would be a better idea to text), you should talk face to face. Not settling things in person will make you look like a bit of a coward.
6. Avoid cliches like the plague.
“It’s not you, it’s me” is by far one of the most played out phrases that people use when they reject someone else. Just don’t use them, because they won’t help the situation.
7. Don’t give them false hope.
One of the easiest ways to get a guy to resent you is to lead him on when you have no intention of taking things further. It’s just cold and heartless, and you would only be making things more complicated.
8. Don’t just avoid them.
Simply waiting things out by avoiding them will not solve a thing. This will only make things worse because it’ll hurt their feelings.
9. Offer to stay friends.
To be quite honest, this one can be tricky. No guy likes to be friend-zoned, but at the same time, some guys would take this as an opportunity to win a girl over. So agreeing to be “just friends” can be a bit more complicated than it sounds, but if this is what you truly want, just make it clear that maintaining a friendship is important to you.
10. Don’t gossip about it.
Or in other words, don’t giggle with your friends about it when the guy is around, and don’t talk about it with his friends behind his back. That’s just immature and mean.
11. Don’t flaunt your relationships in front of them.
If you happen to be in a relationship already, or if you just started dating someone new, don’t go out of your way to show them off in front of the guy you rejected, because it will only make them feel worse. This doesn’t mean that you need to keep your relationship on the down low, but just be a bit more considerate when it comes to the PDAs.
12. Don’t let it get to your head.
It’s flattering to be approached by someone because it makes you feel noticed and wanted. But at the same time, it’s no excuse for you to get on a high horse and act like a diva who has countless men chasing after her. Nothing’s wrong with feeling confident, but just don’t let it get to a point where you feel like you’re above everyone else.
Have you ever had to reject someone who really liked you? How did you deal with it? Tell us in the comments below!
You can follow the author, Nakeisha Campbell, on Twitter and Instagram.
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